Redneck Tie-Dye
Last weekend was a whole lot of stupidness in the forest for the Brian's Bachelor Party event. We scored a campsite in an area about 40 miles East of Estacada. It's just an old forest road near the river, but it always provides a great place to spend the weekend camping. It's also near enough to a great rafting section of the river and just a short trip to Bagby Hot Springs for a refreshing weekend break point.
On Friday, I secured a place with Dan to carpool with in his truck. Before I met him at his place, I had to drive Mia down to McMinville so she could spend the weekend with her grandmother. While I was down there, I quickly set up her wireless network in her new office. Once that was done, I headed back to Portland. It was about 2pm, and I still needed to hit the booze store, the grocery store, and get some pints in me before the haul out there. When I got everything all set to go, I drove over to the Multnomah Village Lucky Lab for some pizza and pints.
Dan called at 4:30 and told me to meet him at his place around 5 so we could load up. When I got there, we got everything loaded in to his truck including firewood. That's when he told me we were taking his couch with us. I told him he was insane, but helped him load it on top of the truck and get it tied down. We were off by a little after 6pm.
When we got to the campground, there was much rejoicing about the couch and how it would make for great firewood come Saturday night. We played horseshoes and got hammered for the rest of the evening. 7 campers in all, and as dudes who go camping do, there was 7 tents to accommodate. I helped finish off a cheap bottle of whiskey and passed out in my tent after hurling a couple times. I woke up the next morning with a sore back after finding and sleeping on the only rock under my tent.
While I was recovering during the morning, 3 more dudes drove up in a big truck and hopped out. They looked like good 'ol boys with the whole "NRA Freedom" hats and camo gear. I thought they were in the wrong place, but it turns out they were the rest of the group. We sat around trying to figure out if we were going to head out rafting for the day or not. The weather had turned a bit cold and they were having a kayaking event on the river, so we opted not to raft it. Instead, the newly arrived group members suggested we go make some "art". Having nothing better to do, we loaded up and drove up the forest road a couple miles.
We found a clearing and unloaded the supplies. Zack, the NRA Freedom dude, turned out to be a local Portland artist. He had a bunch of old paint bottles, little booze bottles filled with ink, and a big ass roll of canvas. He didn't seem to have any brushes on him though. We cut a big square of canvas and placed it on the hillside. Using some pieces of rope, Zack hung bottles of paint and ink above it and then headed back to his truck. He came back with a crap-load of weapons and ammo boxes. These guys had 9mm, .45, shotgun, .22, some other rifle, and a Soviet SKS assault rifle. We were all just staring at them when he loaded them up and began handing them out. I was given the shotgun and was more than happy to empty it out on to the unsuspecting paint bottles while the SKS was cracking off shots to my right. It was really damn fun and by the time we were finished, the canvas had some beautiful colors blasted all over it. Zack announced that the painting we had all just participated in was to be Brian's wedding present after he had it properly mounted and brought to the wedding. That was Redneck Tie-dye. Awesome.
We finished up and headed back to camp to begin drinking again. The hangover had passed and to balance out the gun-toting manliness that had just occurred, the 10 of us played a game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit around the campfire. For the rest of the evening we figured out what would and would not burn really well, but the couch never made it in to the fire. We left it for the next bunch of idiots to destroy.
Our Sunday morning was rained out, so we all just packed up our crap and headed for home. It was a good time and completely unexpected way to spend the weekend.
** Update: I've been waiting to post this until I hassled the people who took photos enough that they would have them available. I really need photo evidence of the art we created, but I guess those will have to wait until they actually come through.
On Friday, I secured a place with Dan to carpool with in his truck. Before I met him at his place, I had to drive Mia down to McMinville so she could spend the weekend with her grandmother. While I was down there, I quickly set up her wireless network in her new office. Once that was done, I headed back to Portland. It was about 2pm, and I still needed to hit the booze store, the grocery store, and get some pints in me before the haul out there. When I got everything all set to go, I drove over to the Multnomah Village Lucky Lab for some pizza and pints.
Dan called at 4:30 and told me to meet him at his place around 5 so we could load up. When I got there, we got everything loaded in to his truck including firewood. That's when he told me we were taking his couch with us. I told him he was insane, but helped him load it on top of the truck and get it tied down. We were off by a little after 6pm.
When we got to the campground, there was much rejoicing about the couch and how it would make for great firewood come Saturday night. We played horseshoes and got hammered for the rest of the evening. 7 campers in all, and as dudes who go camping do, there was 7 tents to accommodate. I helped finish off a cheap bottle of whiskey and passed out in my tent after hurling a couple times. I woke up the next morning with a sore back after finding and sleeping on the only rock under my tent.
While I was recovering during the morning, 3 more dudes drove up in a big truck and hopped out. They looked like good 'ol boys with the whole "NRA Freedom" hats and camo gear. I thought they were in the wrong place, but it turns out they were the rest of the group. We sat around trying to figure out if we were going to head out rafting for the day or not. The weather had turned a bit cold and they were having a kayaking event on the river, so we opted not to raft it. Instead, the newly arrived group members suggested we go make some "art". Having nothing better to do, we loaded up and drove up the forest road a couple miles.
We found a clearing and unloaded the supplies. Zack, the NRA Freedom dude, turned out to be a local Portland artist. He had a bunch of old paint bottles, little booze bottles filled with ink, and a big ass roll of canvas. He didn't seem to have any brushes on him though. We cut a big square of canvas and placed it on the hillside. Using some pieces of rope, Zack hung bottles of paint and ink above it and then headed back to his truck. He came back with a crap-load of weapons and ammo boxes. These guys had 9mm, .45, shotgun, .22, some other rifle, and a Soviet SKS assault rifle. We were all just staring at them when he loaded them up and began handing them out. I was given the shotgun and was more than happy to empty it out on to the unsuspecting paint bottles while the SKS was cracking off shots to my right. It was really damn fun and by the time we were finished, the canvas had some beautiful colors blasted all over it. Zack announced that the painting we had all just participated in was to be Brian's wedding present after he had it properly mounted and brought to the wedding. That was Redneck Tie-dye. Awesome.
We finished up and headed back to camp to begin drinking again. The hangover had passed and to balance out the gun-toting manliness that had just occurred, the 10 of us played a game of Star Wars Trivial Pursuit around the campfire. For the rest of the evening we figured out what would and would not burn really well, but the couch never made it in to the fire. We left it for the next bunch of idiots to destroy.
Our Sunday morning was rained out, so we all just packed up our crap and headed for home. It was a good time and completely unexpected way to spend the weekend.
** Update: I've been waiting to post this until I hassled the people who took photos enough that they would have them available. I really need photo evidence of the art we created, but I guess those will have to wait until they actually come through.
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