Why I Am More Like My High School Football Coach Now Than Ever Before

Over the past couple weeks I have grown to become more like my High School football coach than ever before in my life. Besides the increasingly similar outward appearance of being older, fatter, and a closely shaved head, I have been making more and more analogy references in daily speech. Oftentimes when no such analogy is needed. I can't seem to stop myself.

My High School football coach did this kind of blatant and unneeded analogy slinging all day long. It became a joke around the rest of the guys on the team and smirks would crack open whenever he would address the group of us for a speech. I mean, the guy made some pretty good analogies some times, and I think part of being a coach is being able to do that, but I don't think I want to continue to increase my analogy output right now. At least not until I become a coach. Then I'll be all for it.

Right now, it's becoming a bit out of control. I don't know if it has to do with my daily work life, where analogies to describe an event in the high-tech world needs to be "dumbed-down" for others around me. That could be it. It might be that I'm tired of thinking about the same old things the same way and want to compare a piece of code I wrote to a freightliner full of cinder blocks.

The other day I was speaking with a lady from my insurance company, and ended up comparing my dental insurance to a car wash. "Holy crap!" I'm thinking, "why the hell did I just say that? Is it really helping me get my point across?" No. Not really.

So, that being said, I'm going to make a solid effort to better myself and my speech by pre-editing any possible gratuitous analogies in the future. World be warned! That way, I won't be spitting out analogies like I'm a High School football coach.