That Bathroom Likes To Share

After about 12 cups of coffee in me this morning, my body said it was time to spoil up some company restroom area. I headed to the 2nd floor bathroom (same floor as the office), and stepped in to the one-and-only stall provided. To my horror, this is what awaited me:


Justin - do you take your phone with you in to the bathroom? Hell yes. How else am I going to share this kind of spectacle with anyone else?

I get the eff out of there before someone comes in and thinks it was me that had a freaky spray-feces-fest all over the pot. Still needing to relieve some pressure, I head up to the 3rd floor bathrooms. What we all refer to as the "nice" bathrooms in the building. It's all medical offices upstairs, packed with female nurses, so the men's bathroom hardly gets dinged all day long. Walking in, I know someone has made the same decision I had. I walk to the toilet to find this:

(damn, this photo didn't come out -- but just imagine the pot filled to the brim with wads of toilet paper, sprinkled with brown and red spots)

I foot-flush it, just to see what happens and get a disgruntled shake to the top of the massive pile of T.P. Strike two.

There's no way I'm going down to the 1st floor bathroom. That is known as the unlocked public bathroom which is just like a restroom you might visit in a bus station.

I walk out of my building and up the street to a neighboring office building. I head for the men's bathroom and find the stall that could swallow 3 normal-sized stalls. It's like a handicapped bathroom for conjoined twins sharing only one ass. They could put on a floor show in there. And this is what it looked like:


Ah, sweet white porcelain! They know how to keep you coming back to this one. Perhaps it had something to do with this sign, which was not posted in the other bathrooms I had visited today:


Business was done and I feel like I know the local facilities a little better than I did before. Someone should really clean that first one. Damn.